Despite the startling rise in divorce rates, martial feuds and extra-marital coupling, a surprisingly huge percentage of Indians continue to believe in the sanctity of the saath pheras.
Everybody wants to get hitched and that too for life, and those who can’t, anxiously plan and prepare for the day, they become betrothed. But think about it. Is being single, really that bad a thing? I know it can rankle if most of your erstwhile siblings and buddies are satisfactorily hitched and all you have to show for yourself is an Xbox 3 and a well fed Labrador. Not that owning a Labrador is a bad thing. Dogs are definitely greatest creation of God after women. But let’s not get into that.
The point is if you do have a girlfriend, finance or a wife, we couldn’t be happier. Treat her like the princess she is and do whatever it takes to make the relationship a success. But if you’re single, then things are actually not as bad as they seem. Singledom isn’t the worst thing in the world. In fact all things considered the benefits of being single far outweigh its downsides.
If you won’t believe my words and force me back my cosy blanket statement with some strong logical augments, here are ten irrefutable reasons to turn you into a believer:
1. Didn’t we struggle for more than two centuries to win our freedom from the white oppressors? Men love their freedom and the pleasure of hopping on their bikes at one in the morning and shooting of into the darkness to celebrate the serenity of being single.
2. No one can question your late hours and inexplicably long disappearances (unless you live with your mom). No on can challenge your decision to attend inane programs (minus the risk accidentally expanding your mind). You can party till late at night with your close friends while calculating your chances of convincing the one of girls on the opposite booth for a one night stand.
3. What you earn stays with you and doesn’t have to be shared with your partner. So apart from the government, no one can freeload on your income and you can blow your pay cheque on those necessary trivial pursuits that makes life worth living.
4. No one can glare at you when you perform unexpected body musicals, especially with nether regions.
5. You can spend productive private moments at home blasting your favourite music and giving Emmy worthy performances assisted only by your lungs and a hairbrush.
6. No one will be able to force you come to bed the second the clock strikes 11 only to be woken up by bawling baby, who wants his nappy changed. Conversely if you stay unmarried and don’t have a live in partner, you wont have to stay up till 2 a.m. just because your significant other can’t sleep and feels an insatiable urge to do something exciting – talk about all the exciting incidents at her work.
7. No only will constantly nag and remind you of all the stuff, you forget to do. Never mind, since you will be rescued by your memory, someday, when its already too late. But that of course is another story.
8. You can stay late at office and watch pay-per-view porn without having to invent plausible yarns with involving words like ‘important meeting’, ‘deadlines’ and ‘presentations’ to face the interrogation session when you get back home.
9. You can simultaneously pick your nose (which by the way is a disgusting habit) and scratch your crotch (a necessary evil – both the act and the area) without getting rapped on your knuckles.